Lipstick and Liplocks

Lipstick and Liplocks

The Boys in the Lotto Lab recently heard some disturbing news.  In times past, The United States The Boys in the Lotto LabArmy would march 200 Soldiers based at Fort Stewart, Georgia in Savannah’s HUGE St. Patricks’s Day Parade.

Similar to The Boys when they’re marching around the Lotto Lair, these soldiers were set upon by star-struck women.  Suddenly, the soldiers were covered in “Lipstick and Liplocks.”

For reasons unknown to anyone, the army wants to stop this practice. 

The Boys immediately got on the phone to assure that Savannah had not been invaded by a foreign force resulting in foreign nationals assuming control of Fort Stewart. 

They received assurances from multiple sources that Fort Stewart was, in fact, still home to The United States Army


It’s a strange turn of events.  Usually, when uniformed members of any branch of the United States Military arrive, the ladies begin to swoon.  This typically leaves The Boys high and dry and on the hook for the tab.  Until now, no amount of fascinating Lotto Stories and Professional Breakdancing has The Boys in the Lotto Lab Love to Breakdancedone them any good.  The ladies ALWAYS preferred the uniformed heroes.    

Now, for reasons they don’t understand, the shoe is on the other foot.  The Boys wasted no time swinging into action. 

First, they thanked their Creator.  The Boys immediately thanked Almighty God that they were rated 4F when they attempted to enlist a few years back. 

As loyal players may know, 4F means:

“4-F is a classification given to a new U.S. military registrant indicating that he or she is “not acceptable for service in the Armed Forces” due to medical, dental, or other reasons.”

While The Boys have all their teeth and are vertical most of the time, they were unacceptable for many, many, many, many other reasons, details of which, they refuse to disclose.  😉

Anyway, The Boys now know how they can serve.  As The United States Army withdraws, The Boys step into the breach.

Provided The City of Savannah furnishes suitable transportation and accommodations, The Boys will agree to travel to Georgia each and every year from this day forward to march in the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.  The Boys stand ready to accept all the adulation, adoration, liplocks and lipsticks the lovely ladies of Savannah care to lavish on them. 

Don’t forget ladies, there may be an employment opportunity for you in the Lotto Lair.  Click Here


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This excerpt is from  To read the complete article: Click Here

SAVANNAH, Ga. – The Army wants to halt a favorite St. Patrick’s Day shenanigan in Savannah that for decades has left marching soldiers with lipstick-smeared cheeks.

Traditionally, women wearing bright lipstick dart from the crowd to plant kisses on the faces of passing troops.

Roughly 200 soldiers from nearby Fort Stewart are expected to march in the coastal Georgia city’s sprawling St. Patrick’s Day parade March 17.

A Fort Stewart spokesman and the parade’s chief organizer said Thursday the Army wants the soldier smooching stopped.

Fort Stewart spokesman Kevin Larson said the marching soldiers “Need to look professional” and “Red lipstick is not part of the uniform.”


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