Sprucing Up The Lotto Lair

Sprucing Up the Lotto Lair


The Boys in the Lotto Lab are beside themselves.  Long time readers will remember that The Boys have been trying to hire a Female CEO.  The effort has been underway for The Boys in the Lotto Labyears.  They’re in dire need of some additional executive talent.  The effort they’ve invested in pursuit of their Texas Lotto Jackpot has been overwhelming.  There are now TWO drawings per week.  They may NEVER catch up.

Anyway, The Boys are thinking of sprucing up the Lotto Lair to make the premises more attractive to the CEO of their dreams.  After a hard day’s work in the Lotto Lab, The Boys see themselves and their new CEO relaxing in the Lotto Lair and discussing the day’s events over a few root beers.

She, and a couple of friends she invites over, will hang on The Boys every word as they expound on their future plans and aspirations.

The Boys are intensely interesting.  If you don’t believe it, just ask them.

The first thing The Boys decided to do was take an inventory of the existing furniture.  They’ve had most of these items for many, many years.  Rather than discard these treasures they intend to hold a massive yard sale in the very near future.  Be sure to check the trees around the Lotto Lab for announcement posters. 

During the renovation, The Boys noticed there was a light fixture in the Lotto Lair that looks as though it was installed by vandals.  The Boys had spent many fruitful evenings discussing lotto tactics and what’s up with that lamp.  Although they had offered their insights on both to numerous CEO Candidates, they had no takers.

That’s it.  The lamp had to go.

The Boys are nothing if not innovative, both in the lotto and in decorating.  From time to time they would enjoy a rousing game of horse shoes in the Lotto Lair.  This resulted in some unfortunate accidents that were ably corrected by plastic sandwich bags. 

While The Boys had grown accustomed to, and even fond of some of the results of their “off-line gaming,” others were not as impressed.  The Boys explained themselves and their rationale for leaving the interior of the Lotto Lair riddled with holes to many CEO potentials.  They patiently recited the security advantages the several holes around the outside door provided.  You see, that permitted The Boys to be sure there were no new vandal’s intent on installing other fixtures, nor were there any Lotto Larcenists focused on stealing critical lotto research. 

The Boys are still concerned that the Oklahoma Lotto Commission may send a squad of Ninja Warriors to make off with their research.

It wasn’t just the hole in the walls that drove The Boys innovative use of plastic bags.  They’ve done some incredible work with black dumpster bags. 

They have three or four strategically placed over every Lotto Lair window.  This assures that prying eyes will never be privy to their hard won lotto research AND makes it easy to take the occasional afternoon nap. 

The plastic bags continue to set the pace in practical home décor, but The Boys have noticed something.  There was a time when all their friends consistently decorated their homes in a like matter.  Not so much anymore.  Many of the folks they went to high school with have switched over to actual cloth curtains.  They’ve also got actual furniture that matches.  As far as The Boys know, they’re the only ones from their graduating class that still use cinder blocks and two-by-fours in their library.  This is in spite of the fact that none of their bookcases have ever been damaged by a horseshoe.   


The Boys, on the other hand, have a reddish green sofa they got at an estate auction for Lotto Lair Sofa$3.00 a few years back.  This is not one of those sofas that were inadvertently placed in the wrong auction lot and is tasteful, stylish and underpriced.  No.  At $3.00 it was clearly overpriced.  From different estate sales and front yards on trash day, The Boys have acquired couches, armoires, dinettes, beds, tables, loungers, recliners, benches and bean bags.

Lots and lots of bean bags.

The Boys insist that their décor is intentional and that they have a fun, eclectic residence.  In fact, they have so many GREAT pieces that they now have a fun, eclectic front porch, a fun eclectic front yard and a fun, eclectic driveway.  It’s a good thing the Lotto Mobile was sidelined by the Texas Boats and Millions Belong to WomenHighway Patrol last summer as they can’t get it out of the driveway anyway.

Things always seem to work out for The Boys.

It seemed to The Boys that any Texas Cutie would jump at the chance to become their new CEO given their fully furnished Lotto Lair, lucrative compensation plan and large supply of root beer.  They NEVER skimp on root beer.  But, that’s not been the case.  In fact, their most recent applicants have greeted her proposed working spaces with a blood-curdling SHRIEK and ran out the door.

Millenials… go figure.

The Boys have decided to follow the lead of some of their high school buddies and acquire some stunning new pieces they did not get from the side of the road.  As previously noted, The Boys are preparing to hold a MASSIVE yard sale; it will be out with the old and in with the new.  Unfortunately, The Boys are a little short of cash.  As such, they ask readers holding their own yard sales this weekend to contact them at:

The Boys

c/o The Lotto Lair

Flower Mound, Texas

Maybe we can work out a trade. 😉


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