Magical San Antonio
The Boys in the Lotto Lab finally got their pictures developed from the trip to San Antonio. Initially, they tried to do it themselves in the “OFFICIAL” Lotto Lab Dark Room. They waited in the dark for many, many days. Inexplicably, nothing happened. So, they took them to the drug store to get them developed.
Aside from one old guy back in the stockroom, the drugstore staff didn’t know what they were talking about, so, there they were. Dejected and defeated waiting by the side of the road with their thumbs out, hoping to hitch a ride back to the Lotto Lair.
Then, out of nowhere, a super smart 12-year-old kid on a bicycle took pity on them. After 6 hours of explanations and assurances, the incredulous Boys in the Lotto Lab gave the kid their digital camera and watched in awe as he pedaled away.
Several hours later, the child returned with a flash drive and a bill for fifteen bucks.
The Boys were profoundly and irrevocably offended. There was no discussion of compensation before submission. After all, their benefactor was only 12 years old. What was a child going to do with that kind of cash? No doubt he will probably spend it on video games and movies. The Boys are confident that video games and movies lead to a life of indolence, indulgence, and indigence.
After all… that’s how they got where they’re at today.
The Boys were not about to contribute to the delinquency of a minor. They grabbed the flash drive and sprinted towards the Lotto Lair.
As if by magic, The Boys were surrounded by numerous squad cars operated by Flower Mound’s finest. After a brief discussion with the Officers, The Boys decided they could spare $5.00 each for one of Flower Mound’s youngest entrepreneurs. Then, after a stern warning from a burly police officer and a ticked off 12-year-old, they were released on their own recognizance.
The Boys thanked Almighty God they weren’t driving the Lotto Mobile. It never goes well when Flower Mound PD runs their plates.
Anyway, they’re now prepared to present the exciting details of their trip to San Antonio.
During this magical Thanksgiving weekend, The Boys and I attended the “Black Friday Parade” along the San Antonio Riverwalk. The Boys were astounded at the fun, festivities and the features of the parade. Unlike their Flower Mound Home, they haven’t been banned from most public events in San Antonio.
Anyway, They Boys watched with interest as the Star Wars float proceeded down the river. After a brief confab amongst themselves, they concluded that the woman playing Princess Leah was held against her will and she wanted them to rescue her.
They quickly devised a plan and swung into action.
One of The Boys swam dolphin like alongside the float encouraging The Princess to jump to safety in his arms while the other two began a painful, both for us to watch and them to do, break dancing routine as they kept pace with the float on the bank of the river.
The clear intention of their break dancing was to distract the Storm Troopers permitting their compadre to rescue the Princess.
Nevertheless, the San Antonio Police Department mistakenly called them a public nuisance and a clear and present danger to everyone’s fun. As they were put into the back of the squad car they feared The Princess may never be heard from again.
They were sure that she could have been “The One” for one of them. It was only a matter of her selecting her champion from among The Boys.
As is typical, after hours and hours of questioning, the San Antonio PD, like the Flower Mound PD concluded that The Boys were more dazed than dangerous. They found themselves released from incarceration on their own recognizance with another stern warning from a burly San Antonio police officer and a ticked off parade organizer.
They promised everyone they wouldn’t do it again and then dutifully placed their written warnings in the envelope they carried for that purpose.
The Alamo was next on the agenda. It was high time The Boys paid their respects to the Cradle of Western Civilization.
The Boys examined the monuments and discussed amongst themselves how the battle could have been won. Witnesses said debate raged for hours in front of the Alamo Cenotaph. As Texas heroes from the “Spirit of Sacrifice” gazed down, The Boys discussed what they would have done differently had they, rather than Colonel William Barret Travis, commanded Texian Forces at the Alamo.
To their credit, The Boys concluded that all that could be done was done.
The Boys then spent the next 90 minutes marching in tight formation around the shrine shouting:
Numerous burly San Antonio residents offered to deliver the latter swiftly and painlessly.
Before things went seriously South, The Boys decided to crank up the charm one last time. They noticed San Antonio was inundated with beautiful Texas women. As the word was out on them with most Texas women, they decided to focus on tourists. They were reasonably confident that no one North of the Mason-Dixon Line knew anything about them.
What could go wrong?
The best way to identify beautiful tourists was to keep a sharp eye on the horse-drawn carriages circling the Alamo. They quickly put on their T-Shirts proclaiming that they were:
Native Texans and Lotto Professionals
This rare combination of skills and birthright was sure to captivate, fascinate, enchant and bewitch any and all out of town babes that happened to gaze their way. That, coupled with some new break dance moves they’d been practicing in the Lotto Lair was sure to attract the woman of their dreams.
They put their plan into motion.
Shortly after that, the San Antonio Police Department mobilized.
That was the last we saw of The Boys until we returned home to Flower Mound. Evidently, there is an obscure Texas Statute permitting any municipality, city, county, township, borough, town or village located within the Great State of Texas to deport The Boys to the City of Flower Mound situated in Denton, County Texas with or without cause anytime, day or night.
The Boys are just thankful that Flower Mound didn’t get the memo.
All of that will change as quickly as we win the BIG multi-million dollar Texas Lotto Jackpot. When that happens, The Boys will finally be accorded the honor and reverence they deserve.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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