The Boys Seek Psychic Assistance
Well, another Texas Lotto Jackpot has come and gone with The Boys no better off than before. They’ve become introspective. They’re retracing their steps. They’re considering their options. They’re contemplating their condition. They’re wondering what’s for lunch.
After a couple of delicious burritos each, they decided to take demonstrable steps to expedite the Lotto Central Team win by consulting The Great State of Texas’ most powerful Psychic. There are two hot spots of psychic activity in Texas. Those in the know understand that Bedford and Beaumont contain the highest concentration of psychic energy anywhere in The Lone Star State. If there are psychics anywhere that can predict the winning numbers for Lotto Texas, they’re there.
After a quick consultation with their Rand McNally, The Boys learned that Beaumont was more than 300 miles from Flower Mound. Conversely, Bedford was only 20 miles away.
Taking into account proximity, time, distance, psychic forces, psychic abilities and time until the next Texas Lotto Drawing, The Boys quickly concluded that Bedford psychics were the way to go. The Boys are confident that the most gifted psychics on the planet reside in Bedford, Texas.
Madam Shanae sensed they were coming.
The Boys fired up the Lotto Mobile and headed for Bedford. It was the week before Halloween in the small spooky neighborhood barely 20 miles from the Lotto Lair. As they drove closer to their destination, they noticed house after house with signs that said “Psychic Readings.” The practitioners were obviously doing quite well. These homes were some of the nicest luxury manufactured housing The Boys had ever seen. The neighborhood seemed like a place where you might have trouble getting an electrician on the weekend, but if you needed an emergency palm reading, help is only seconds away.
While having their burrito, The Boys had some of their buddies at the convenience store try to discern which psychic was the most skilled of the lot. There was no firm consensus among their colleagues, so they headed towards a weather-beaten sign that said:
50% Off – Today and TODAY ONLY!!
The Boys determined that this was the professional they wanted. They skidded to a stop in her driveway. The captivating Madam Shanae was a slender woman in her mid-40s. She looked as though she was just arising from an afternoon nap when she answered the door. The Boys entered through the kitchen to a darkened living room with “The Young and the Restless” playing on TV. She quickly lit several resonating candles and piped through specially selected New Age music through her stereophonic sound system.
The Boys got a collective chill.
The Boys quickly explained what they wanted from Madam Shanae; they wanted the winning number of Wednesday’s Texas Lotto Jackpot.
Madam Shanae immediately told The Boys that it could be and would be done.
The Boys became giddy. One of them asked Madam Shanae to explain why she had never won the Texas Lotto herself? As her powers were so potent and so sure, she could surely hit the lotto at will. She acknowledged their question, agreed with their conclusion and explained to The Boys:
Madam Shanae said,
“Your question demonstrates a lack of understanding about how psychic phenomena work. Psychic powers don’t operate like carpentry. Carpentry, auto mechanics, fast food service and retail sales are bound by the natural laws that rule the seen, not the unseen. Psychic phenomena work on a whole different, higher plane of existence. A psychic phenomenon is supernatural and, like a fine burrito is meant to make the world a better place. It is never to be used to enrich the practitioner. Madam Shanae said that if she were to use it to personally prosper, she would end up collecting massive quantities of bad karma, that would leave her yin and yang out of whack which could lead to a diminishment of her gift. She made it very clear; those that exercise their psychic powers must only use them to benefit others.”
All that made sense to The Boys. They trembled as Madam Shanae began their discounted psychic session.
Madam Shanae pulled a sheet of paper from an undisclosed location and noted that she would be writing a variety of things down as the session proceeded. This permanent record would be presented to The Boys so they would have a chronicle of their time together. First, she wrote down everyone’s name in large letters and had each of The Boys check their spelling by both repeating their name aloud and by checking each word letter by letter. After the 30 minutes she spent going over their names several times to assure there were no errors, Madam Shanae reminded The Boy that their session was only an hour.
Next, she began to speak past The Boys as if she were communicating with someone or something in the spirit realm. This was very disturbing. Whoever or whatever Madam Shanae was talking to would only present itself to her. The Boys were not privy to its countenance nor did they have direct access to its insights. It was something or someone that only Madam Shanae could see. From time to time she would say, “Thank You” to the entity standing by her refrigerator as she listened intently to words that only she could hear.
This mysterious conversation used up the remainder of The Boys psychic consultation. When done, Madam Shanae explained that she had a hair appointment that she could not cancel so The Boys would have to return another time to get the actual winning Texas Lotto numbers.
She suggested they return on “Supermoon Saturday.”
It is on Supermoon Saturday that the moon will be passing directly over Madam Shanae’s Bedford mobile home park. During this powerful event, the Supermoon will be closer than it’s ever been to a large concentration of luxury manufactured housing. Madam Shanae asserts that the moon’s proximity concurrent with the presence of the atmosphere will create near perfect virtual vortexes around every home in the park. Trailer park residents with even nominal psychic powers should be able to purchase multiple winning scratch offs in addition to other miraculous feats.
She assured The Boys that the supermoon’s power would permit her to suck the winning Lotto Texas numbers out of Austin like sucking Dr. Pepper through a straw.
She told them to come back next Saturday and to bring the full fee. The 50% discount was only for the first visit.
The Boys were elated. Finally, their hard work was going to pay off.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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