Lotto Power Of Attorney
The Boys in the Lotto Lab have long been concerned with the deleterious life-changing effects that winning a multi-million dollar lotto jackpot can have on people. Family dissolution, wanton debauchery, inane purchases, questionable investments in alpaca farms, ant farms, swampland, and beachfront property in Nevada. In their quest to win the multi-million dollar Texas Lotto Jackpot, they’ve spent; literally, years discussing all the bad moves a lotto winner might make. To share their insights, they’ve compiled them into a riveting 1437-page checklist.
The Boys are determined to share their wisdom with many, many, many millions of global lotto players.
They considered taking their manuscript to Random House, Simon and Schuster or HarperCollins for publication. With certainty, it would be a permanent presence on the nation’s best-seller list. They resolved to get their insights to lotto players around the globe. To expedite the process, they headed to the library. They reasoned that publisher’s representatives would be present in the Flower Mound Library as this is where the books were.
The Boys reflected upon how many books they’ve purchased and never read. Not dull tomes either, we’re talking MARVEL, Batman, Superman, Supergirl, Scooby-Do and others. You know how it is, you purchase a new book, and then life happens. There are lotto drawings every Wednesday and Saturday evening. Each of them requires The Boys spend days preparing. Who’s got time to read?
Never fear, The Boys have devised the perfect solution so that no one will ever have to read anything they’ve written.
Book lovers everywhere sighed in relief.
The Boys decided to launch a “Power of Attorney” service for Texan’s and foreigners who have recently won a multi-million dollar lotto jackpot. Despite the onerous burden it entails, The Boys are willing to take full control of a winner’s millions to assure they’re put to the best possible use.
They will use their unpublished manuscript as the definitive guide. Lotto winners benefit from the power of their perception, without having to read anything… ever… again.
It’s a BIG – BIG Win for Professional Lotto Players everywhere.
As longtime Lotto Central readers know, The Boys, have extensive experience at both playing the lotto and managing massive winnings. Who could forget the $80.00 scratch-off win of 2009? The Boys are “LEGENDS” at the Flower Mound Quick Trip. Their insight, their perspicacity, and their wisdom is superior in zero ways.
The clerk convinced them to bet their winnings on a “Winner Take All” coin toss.
Broke, destitute and depressed, The Boys returned to the Lotto Lair vowing NEVER to let that happen again. They now maintain that this heart rending experience make them the perfect team to manage your millions because….
Lesson learned. It won’t happen again.
Highflying jackpot winners can now benefit from their hard won understanding. The Boys are now astute enough to take exceptional care of your multi-million dollar lotto jackpot win.
The Boys maintain that fully 95% of Texas Lotto Jackpot winners could benefit from their services. According to written affirmations submitted by The Boys to the Texas Lottery Commissioner, their calculations show that the longevity along with the physical and fiscal health of 100% of current Texas Lotto winners would be positively affected by providing The Boys with a Power of Attorney over all winnings.
The Boys are not satisfied with 95%. They’re ready, willing and able to improve the lives of lotto players across the globe. They will not rest until they have total access to all lotto winnings, regardless of the game, irrespective of the location.
They’re having documents prepared and will order them presented to 100% of Lottery Players. They propose that concurrent with the delivery of the tickets, be they quick picks, scratch offs or multi-picks, players are immediately required to sign a “Power of Attorney” granting The Boys control of all past, present and future winnings from any game, anywhere within or without The Great State of Texas.
After dozens of frantic calls to Austin, The Boys were told the Texas Lottery Commissioner is reviewing their proposal.
The Boys have filed an “Amicus Brief” with the court. Within this document, The Boys brought relevant issues to the Flower Mound Traffic Courts attention. Each compelling point supports their contention that, for the public good, they must be immediately granted irrevocable Power of Attorney for any and all lotto players and their winnings worldwide.
The following are pertinent issues the Court may not have considered:
- The Boys hold GEDs.
- The Boys are not felons.
- The Boys are Due to Win One.
- The Boys are Financial Experts.
- The Boys Birthday is Coming Up.
- The Boys are Life Time Lotto Players.
- The Boys are Break Dance Professionals.
- It’s THE ONLY way to Stop Climate Change.
- The Boys have tons of time on their hands.
- The Boys are Familiar with 100% of Lotto Games.
- It’s THE ONLY way to Stop International Terrorism.
- The Boys have Traveled Throughout The Great State of Texas.
- The Boys have received NUMEROUS Certificates of Completion.
- The Boys have NEVER been convicted of the same crime twice, ZERO recidivism.
After submitting their Amicus Brief to Traffic Court, The Boys waited for many hours outside Judge’s Chambers. When they saw her leaving they rushed over to learn how quickly they might begin collecting other players’ winnings.
Security was alerted, The Boys were detained. Seems they still owed $87.00 for a 2011 parking violation. They quickly strategized with the court on a payment plan that would have The City of Flower Mound fully reimbursed in less than 18 months.
Quickly pivoting back to the lotto, The Boys left numerous voice mail messages for the Commissioner. They sought to assure him, and all members of the Commission, that they had decided to forgo global fame and riches permitting them to focus ONLY on Texas Lotto Jackpot winners. The Boys assured members of the Commission that this laser like focus on Texans and Texas would yield substantial immediate benefits throughout The Lone Star State.
It was touching. The Boys would give up their Global Ambitions to serve Texas Lotto Players more effectively. It brought a tear to my eye.
Given their recent misunderstanding with the Judge, The Boys felt the likelihood of obtaining a Ruling from Flower Mound Traffic Court directing lotto winners worldwide to deposit their winnings with them improbable.
The Boys decided not to trouble The Commissioner with this information.
Irrespective of the Judge’s or the Commissioner’s decision, The Boys assure you….
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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