The Lotto Cultural Institute
The Boys in the Lotto Lab have long been advocates extolling, edifying and communicating the broad benefits of the Texas Lotto. Consistent with this effort, they’ve established:
The Cultural Institute for the Future of Lotto
The Boys are optimistic that now that they’ve established their non-registered non-profit that massive amounts of money will flood in.
To be clear, the Cultural Institute is not an “Official” non-profit, “per se.” The truth of the matter is, nothing The Boys have done thus far has been profitable.
They’re just going with the flow.
Anyway, the first order of business is to get The Institute into suitable accommodations. There’s a tremendous sense of urgency in obtaining a new headquarters for their Institute.
Their Mom’s told them they’ve got to get this junk out of the living room.
The Boys have had their eye on some MASSIVE 8 x 10 structures that would be perfect to house their new Institute. Unfortunately, both Home Depot and Lowes are very proud of them. The Boys aren’t worried. Just as quickly as the flood of donations commence, they’re going to purchase and personally assemble a suitable headquarters.
It is at the Institute that they will cogitate, ruminate and deliberate upon weighty lotto matters, both for the present and for posterity.
Ne’er-do-wells and detractors of every stripe are working diligently against The Boys. The Boys have been battling lies, injustices, iniquity, inequity, inequality, and oppression for years.
They wouldn’t have bothered you or anyone else for donations for their new Institute if not for being wrongfully accused of sloth and inattention on the burger line. Ever since they were fired… er… I mean, ever since they resigned from their day jobs, they’ve been a little short of cash. The Boys maintain that they fell victim to economic circumstances beyond their control. Who’d of believed that Arby’s, McDonalds and Sonic would ALL decide to offshore their burger operations shortly after The Boys were hired?
It was a blessing in disguise.
The Boys can now focus on preserving their Lotto Legacy for the world. In addition to performing non-stop Lotto Research as they have always done, they’re now tasked with obtaining funding for their new world class Lotto Institute.
As loyal readers know, The Boys have put out an all-points bulletin for a Female CEO. They’re looking for someone that knows something about obtaining government funding to assure indispensable cultural enrichment is available for all Texans.
So far, they’ve sent grant applications to:
- Area 51
- Homeland Security
- The State Department
- The Veterans Administration
- The Department of Defense
- The Office of Naval Research
- The National Institute of Health
- The Social Security Administration
- The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency
All have expressly declined to fund the Institute except for Area 51. Excluding Area 51, the other agencies returned The Boys application with a stamp that reads:
“Money Down a Rat Hole”
The Boys are hoping the aliens will invest. Their generosity would go a long way towards maintaining cordial interplanetary relations.
Regardless of the spacefarer’s decision, The Boys are confident their new CEO will fix everything.
There’s just one caveat. As they’re certain their efforts will change the face of lotto forever, it should be no problem for their new CEO to get lots and lots of government cash. As their jackpot win is pending, the new CEO will need to wait for her generous $12,500/year salary.
She may also need to chip in for doughnuts.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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