Fit For The Win

Three Reasons Why The Boys in the Lotto Lab

 MUST Get Fit


Reason #1 – For Their Country

The Boys and every other Texan owes it to their country to get fit and stay fit.  They never forget that they’re Texans and Texas deserves the The Boys in the Lotto Lab Look Into the Camerabest of everything.  With certainty, nefarious Russian, North Korean and Oklahoma lotto professionals are probably working out now, harder than ever.  As The Boys have already had a run-in with the dastardly Okies, they remain on “HIGH ALERT.”  They anticipate another Red River War at any time.  Click Here.   

Regardless of what it takes, regardless of what it costs, regardless of the sacrifice involved, The Boys intend to stay fit and vigorous to assure the Texas Lotto is secure.     

In fact, there’s more danger now than ever.  Not only are we facing

radical Islamic terrorists, but we’ve also got numerous lotto strike forces from around the globe desperate to get their hands on The Boy’s critical lotto research. 

It wasn’t easy to get back into shape.   

The Boys have developed a GIGANTIC problem that’s impeding their ability to repel the villains that would do harm to the Texas Lotto.  International Lotto thieves are always plotting devious ways to steal their Top Secret research and using it to take Lotto Central’s rightful multi-million dollar jackpot from us. 

They weren’t always as prepared as they are now to repel the threat. 

In times past, they’d eaten so many GIGANTIC Size bags of chips and Sexy Women Making Time For Fundip that they were afraid they may no longer be fit for the fight.  Specifically, they may have been unable to fit into alleys and Texas county roads without the aid of powerful hydraulic devices.  That left The Boys no other means of defense other than hand to hand combat on Interstate 35 where they fear they’ll be easy targets for “Lard Seeking Semis” launched from North of the Red River.

Reason #2 – For Their Career

Aside from National Defense, you should also remain fit to maximize your career success.  In the old days of Railroad Robber Barons, all the successful businessmen were extra-large and proud of it.  In fact, this was the primary way the Barons scored with the ladies.  In those days, there were no fancy cars to drive around.  Everybody had a horse and buggy, so the only way to demonstrate vast wealth was through conspicuous food consumption.  To lure the lovelies the playboys of that time would sit in front of a fancy French restaurant gorging on bottles of wine and escargot.  Not the snails you find at the bottom of Lake Grapevine, but the ones shipped in from the deepest reaches of Lake Geneva in France.  There’s no difference between the two aside from the fact that local Flower Mound French Restaurants of the day charged 10 cents each for a Lake Grapevine snail and $10.00 each for Lake Geneva’s.

Massive spending like that REALLY impressed the cuties.     

The Boys long for those days, but, alack and alas, it’s no longer that PreRegister To Assure Your Millionsway.  Now they’re working out harder than ever, to keep themselves, lean, sleek and fit.  The downside of this additional physical activity is the time it takes from Lotto Research and Root Beer quaffing.  Nevertheless, they soldier on.  They’ve been hard at work most every evening, when time permits, as their busy schedule allows, every couple of weeks or so, to become lean, mean fighting machines. 

A selection of the exotic exercise gear they’ve rescued from the back yard include:

  • Tummy Crusher
  • Tummy Tucker
  • Tummy Tickler
  • Shake Weight
  • Vanilla Shake
  • Ab Blaster
  • Ab Roller
  • Twist and Tone III
  • Thigh Master
  • Butt Master
  • Knee Master
  • Neck Master
  • Kettle Balls
  • Tae BO
  • Body Blade
  • Bow Flex
  • 8 Minute Abs
  • Belt Massager
  • Twister Rave
  • Raving Lunatic

Each of these 20 sure fired fitness products are in the garage ready for The Boys to swing into action.  Swing into action they will, just as quickly as they finish this last plate of burritos.   The Boys intend to power through many, perhaps more than a dozen, intense workouts over the next several years, not for themselves, but for Texas and Lotto Central Players everywhere.

Reason #3 – For You, The Lotto Central Player

Finally, The Boys owe it to you, the Lotto Central Players.  There’s nothing as magnificent as the feeling of being physically fit and ready to take your share of a multi-million dollar jackpot at a moments notice.  Unless it’s the pleasure of polishing off a giant burrito with extra hot sauce. 

Wait a minute, belay that last remark. 

What they’re trying to say is when they finally get physically fit, everything about them will change.  For example, they’ll have to buy new pants.  With the new wardrobe, they’ll develop a whole new attitude about themselves. Instead of constantly thinking I need to lose a ton of weight or the lotto lovelies will never go out with me, they’ll now be thinking the lovelies will only like me as long as I don’t gain back all my weight. 

As quickly as they achieve the pinnacle of physical prowess that they’re working on so hard, they believe they’ll be able to stay up past the late night Star Trek reruns to conduct EVEN MORE critical lotto research.  According to their calculations, this should all but assure multiple jackpot wins over the next several months.

It’s indisputable that They Boys in the Lotto Lab will do anything and everything to cause our team, the Lotto Central team to hit the BIG multi-million dollar Texas Lotto Jackpot.  That means up to and including becoming a lean, mean fighting machine.


Everything They Do, They Do For You.

Don’t tell anyone, but it’s becoming increasingly apparent to The Boys that they MUST land a cushy government job with the Texas Lotto Commission.  The sooner the better.  Dieting and working out is a pain.

Next Time… Fer Sure!!

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