The Day Job
The tale we’re about to tell must not be shared with anyone outside of Lotto Central. There was a time when The Boys succumbed to peer pressure. The results were ugly. They found themselves pursuing a career outside of the lotto industry. They quickly mastered their new craft and were a thumping success. It was evident that they were poised to earn a lucrative long-term income. It was only because of their dedication to you, the loyal Lotto Central player, that The Boys abandoned their new vocation.
It is important that you know and understand that:
Everything they Do, They Do for You
Now, the confidential disclosure.
The Boys in the Lotto Lab are known throughout Flower Mound, Texas and points beyond for their bravery, courage, and their relentless dedication to winning Lotto Texas. They have been an inspiration to underachievers… er… they mean… slackers.. er.. wait…Texas youth for years. To hear them tell it, they’ve been a powerful source of motivation and encouragement for young Texas lotto players throughout the Great State of Texas and all points beyond.
No one lotto’s better than The Boys.
In spite of all they’ve accomplished and all they’ve done, they fear that many members of their family, the High School Class they should have graduated from, community college admissions officers and disgruntled members of the Flower Mound Police Department, annoyed members of the Lewisville Police Department and certain persons employed by The Town of Flower Mound may not hold them in as high of a regard as they hold themselves.
The Boys acknowledge some incidents involving these exemplary Public Servants… and… through no fault of their own… The Boys found themselves cuffed in the back of a squad car. The Boys reiterate… it was just a misunderstanding… they requested to be released on their own recognizance… unfortunately, the judge was not amenable, HOWEVER… when their Mom’s arrived, they were IMMEDIATELY granted their freedom after the ladies made bail and paid a nominal fine.
Once again, it was just a misunderstanding, it could have happened to anyone. The Boys thought the offended young ladies were flirting back with them. After the officer had explained exactly what it was that upset the other patrons, The Boys agreed never to visit the pool at the Flower Mound CAC again.
In spite of their banishment from the community activity center, The Boys maintain they’re:
BLAMELESS IN ALL MATTERS!
After release from their brief incarceration, The Boys found themselves in a reflective mood over a few root beers.
Their circumstances were unfathomable. They’ve done ALL the lotto research. They’ve read ALL the Lotto Books. They’ve calculated and recalculated the odds of winning over and over again. Even though they and 100% of the other players have a 50/50 chance of winning the multi-million dollar jackpot, they’ve had an inexplicable 25-year dry spell.
It doesn’t make any sense.
They started thinking, their friends and family might be right. Maybe they should look for employment outside the lotto industry. If they made such a dramatic move, they’d insist upon directing their talents towards an equally respected profession. They’d demand rich financial rewards. They’d want a profession that didn’t take long to master. They’re too busy to attend a formal four-year college, so they’d want a profession they could train for on-line or via mail order. They wanted something that permitted them to wear a snappy hat.
They were looking for clean work with no heavy lifting. They reviewed their burrito and root beer receipts. From these receipts, they determined they would need hundreds of dollars per month to sustain their current lifestyle.
They created a decision table from these criteria and headed to the Flower Mound Public Library.
In NO TIME they had their answer. The Boys were going to become Ordained Ministers.
The Boys began their rigorous course of study immediately. Their efforts paid off. They were ordained in less than 48 hours. They received their credentials via e-mail within minutes. They were delighted that there would be no more conflicts with law enforcement. Why would there be? The Boys are now respected members of clergy.
It was time to put all this training to work.
The Boys began passing out flyers throughout Flower Mound. To expedite acolyte acquisition, The Boys contemplated an air drop. They couldn’t afford a plane and pilot, so they threw a couple of hundred flyers from the roof of the Lotto Lab. Flower Mound garbage disposal took note. To avoid another arrest, The Boys quickly agreed to pick everything up and deposit it in an appropriate receptacle. Undaunted, they returned to a more personal approach. They set to work drumming up business on street corners and highway on-ramps all across North Texas.
They vowed to impress the citizens of Texas one Texan at a time.
Finally… their efforts paid off. An enchanting young couple hired them to officiate their wedding.
The Boys arrived in their newly acquired finery complete with impressive headgear. They were ready to preside over this beautiful ceremony.
They waited for the gasps and snickering from the crowd to subside and then commenced their first wedding. Everything was going great. They were about to get to the “I Do’s” when someone from the crowd asked about an opportunity to object.
The Boys were only interested in completing the ceremony and collecting their honorarium, but the guy insisted.
The Boys weren’t entirely clear on what was wrong, but it seemed the guy was saying the woman was already married to him.
At first, The Boys thought they were going to get to charge the happy couple double, as this was their second wedding. Then it became apparent that a significant conflict was brewing.
Sensing that something was amiss, The Boys said, very calmly,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats while we conclude the ceremony.”
They pulled the groom aside, accusations were leveled, competencies were challenged, charges were threatened, and payment was denied.
The Boys reflected upon their adventure. They decided it was a HUGE mistake to take their focus from the lotto. With absolute deadly certainty, they promise you, their loyal Lotto Central Players that they will never again seek employment of any kind that might interfere with the ultimate goal of sharing the multi-millions with you.
Henceforth, they will be much too busy to pursue a day job of any kind.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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