Continuity of Government – Continuity of Lotto
The Boys in the Lotto Lab have recently come across some disturbing information regarding the Continuity of Government (COG) initiative. Inexplicably, there is no provision for the Continuity of Lotto (COL). The Boys have undertaken extensive research on the matter and have concluded that the United States Government has no specific plans in place to assure the continuation of Lotto Texas in the event of either a man-made or natural disaster.
This is UNACCEPTABLE!!!!
Consider these troubling scenarios.
- A tornado strikes and the Lotto Loo backs up.
- A tornado strikes and the Lotto Mobile won’t start.
- A tornado strikes and the Lotto Lab is knocked down.
- A tornado strikes and the Lotto Lair is knocked down.
- A tornado strikes and the Lotto Luncheonette Microwave Goes on the Fritz.
The above possibilities deal only with a recurring Texas natural disaster. As The Boys secret facilities are very close to a prominent Flower Mound
these unlikely events are more likely than you’d think. In fact, all of these happened twice in 2008 alone. There’s a mysterious affinity between tornadoes and trailer parks.
Nevertheless, The Boys continue to make payments on their doublewide.
That’s right ladies… they said DOUBLEWIDE. 🙂
Any one of these unlikely occurrences could impede the conduct and the implementation of critical lotto research. Ongoing research is essential to the ultimate vindication of The Boys and their loyal Lotto Central Players. Without lotto research, there may well never be a lotto jackpot. Without a lotto jackpot, The Boys may be forced into a day job. With the acquisition of a day job, there is less time for critical lotto research. Without Lotto Research, a lotto jackpot is unlikely.
The Boys refer to this as the:
Lotto Lab Death Spiral
It’s evident that there MUST BE a Continuation of Lotto (COL) plan in the event of a disaster.
The Boys are calling their Continuity of Lotto plan:
Zebra Initiative Six
They’ve concluded that there are four critical objectives to the reconstitution of Lotto Central operations and, by extension, the reconstitution of the Texas Lotto.
Those four vital elements of Zebra 6 are:
- ensure Lotto Central and Lotto Texas leadership and staff are knowledgeable about continuity of operations procedures
- demonstrate the ability of Lotto Central and Lotto Texas to activate continuity plans and conduct essential functions from an alternate location
- discuss Lotto Central and Lotto Texas devolution capability
- demonstrate Lotto Central and Lotto Texas reconstitution planning operations
The Boys will undertake the effort of finding an alternate location. They’ve been reading about the National Military Command Center at the Raven Rock Mountain Complex close to the Mason-Dixon line. Within this massive structure, The Boys research informed them that there are emergency operations centers for the United States Army, the United States Air Force and the United States Navy.
In addition to Raven Rock, there is the Cheyenne Mountain Complex. It is from Cheyenne that the United States will launch a devastating nuclear retaliatory strike against our helpless adversaries.
The Boys are confident they’ve uncovered a major flaw in this plan. These plans are interesting. Maybe even necessary. But what, exactly, does this do for the Continuity of Lotto?
In a word, nothing.
The Boys sprang into action. They quickly communicated with both National Command Centers. They talked to several uninformed individuals that could not grasp the magnitude of their oversight. They demanded to be put through to the President, the Secretary of Defense, the Secretary of the Navy, or anyone else with a key to the front door. The Boys needed to assess the facilities and assure they were satisfactory to support their Continuity of Lotto plans.
The Command Centers were clueless. The Boys efforts were futile.
The Boys were not dismayed. They didn’t need Cheyenne Mountain or Raven Rock. Texans have Texas Hill Country. It was here that The Boys would establish their own National Command Center for Lotto Central and Lotto Texas.
They quickly made plans to depart and commence construction of their new Lotto Bunker. This critical infrastructure would reside deep in the heart of El Capitan, Texas’ highest peak. This would be Texas’ new home of the Lotto Continuity Operation Command.
When The Boys arrived at the mountain, they were surprised that the thousands of volunteers with shovels and pick axes they requested had not yet appeared. In fact, they only people present were two uniformed members of the National Park Service. The Boys were prepared to thank the officers. They were touched by the obvious concern for their safety. Evidently, The Boys misunderstood the reason for their visit. The officers were informed by concerned citizens that a piece of junk was careening south on Interstate 35 belching black smoke and weaving erratically. When The Boys arrived with their excavation gear, the officers noticed the Lotto Mobile’s inspection sticker had expired a few years ago.
The Lotto Mobile was immediately impounded.
The Boys quickly assessed the situation and decided to contact the National Command again. They concluded that in addition to providing Continuity of Lotto Leadership for Lotto Central and the Texas Lottery Commission that they could also provide insights and direction for the US National War Fighting Command. Who better than The Boys in the Lotto Lab to lead our troops from 1,500 feet below ground?
This would be a win-win for all concerned. As loyal Lotto Central players know, The Boys have provided flawless leadership and guidance for many years now. So, when their nation calls, they will not hesitate. They will happily accept the government job.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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