Beautiful Austin Women
The Boys in the Lotto Lab are concerned that they’re not getting out there enough. They’ve made no secret of the fact that they’re all “On the Hunt” for three beautiful young women. One for each of The Boys. They want the ladies to be the yin to their yang. Women who’ll laugh at their hilarious jokes as she kisses them goodbye on the way to her high-paying day job. Each of these three beauties will look longingly at them as they drive away, leaving them to work on the serious business of conducting indispensable Lotto Texas Research.
Ladies, it’s your lucky day.
The Boys are prepared to make the dreams of three beautiful Texas ladies come true. They’ve put the word out that they’re interviewing potential Lotto Lovely’s at the Lotto Lair in Flower Mound.
Inexplicably, traffic has been lite.
The Boys have concluded that they’re going to need to get out there. They’re going to have to strut their stuff. They’re going to have to make their move. They’re going to have to let the ladies see what they’re missing.
It’s a lovely bright-blue-sky morning in Flower Mound, Texas. The Boys are making their move, they’re making a powerful move. They’re piloting the Lotto Mobile on one of the most spectacular roads in Texas, Interstate Highway 35 South. They’re on their way to Austin, the capital of The Great State of Texas. Home of the Texas Lotto Commission and, they’re told, an incredible assortment of crazy women, some of which are employed.
It was a glorious day indeed.
Austin is Texas’ Texas. Their motto is “Keep Austin Weird.” The Boys have proven time and time again that they’re up for weird. To hear them tell it, the Chairman of the Texas Lotto Commission and the Governor of Texas will both be waiting on the Austin exit ramp to welcome them to our nation’s capital. The Boys became increasingly agitated and excited as they powered toward Austin at maximum speed. They were elated. They were certain their three true loves were only 220 miles away.
All they need to do is get there post-haste.
Austin is the place way down in South Texas where the weirdest of the weird end up. It’s the place where abnormal is normal. As The Boys strolled down Sixth Street to see what they could see, it felt like there is one bar per patron, although, in actuality, the ratio is more like one bar for every three. With certainty, you don’t have to wait long for your next root beer to arrive.
The Boys wanted to make certain that they visited their interior designers while they were in town. They were certain there would be something they could pick up that would really spruce up the Lotto Lair before the ladies arrived. For that, they headed over to the world famous “Cathedral of Junk” The Boys love this place. It’s where they got most of their interior, exterior and vehicle design ideas. What makes the cathedral even weirder is that it’s located in the backyard of a seemingly ordinary residential area. You can’t just drop by as its Vince Hanneman’s home. Should you want to enter the property and/or the residence and take a look at everything up close and personal a donation is your ticket in.
Given that unreasonable demand, The Boys decided to admire it from the road.
The Boys have been thinking that one of the reasons they’re not getting any traction with the ladies is because everyone thinks they’re stuffy, proper, fuddy-duddy lotto researchers who don’t know how to have fun. Their position as the official Lotto Central Research Team takes them far beyond the status and stature of your typical lotto professionals. They’re concerned that their status makes them seem unapproachable. They remain sure their efforts will ultimately result in millions of dollars to split among their loyal Lotto Central Players, in the meantime, the ladies are intimidated.
Oh, the price of fame.
Well, on this trip to Austin, The Boys have decided to let it all hang out. They’re going to stop by for a skinny dip at Hippie Hollow on beautiful Lake Travis.
Indeed, Texas has no law explicitly forbidding public non-sexual nudity. To date, that’s the only kind of public nudity The Boys have ever engaged in. They keep trying, but so far, no takers. So, thanks to our friends in the legislature, Austin has the state’s only official, government-maintained, clothing-optional public park – Hippie Hollow. Even the park’s sign says, “Yours to enjoy naturally.”
Aside from Flower Mound, Austin is The Boys favorite place in the world.
After a refreshing skinny dip that didn’t go well for The Boys or the ladies they approached, they decided to try their hand at the performing arts. In their spare time, they’ve been working on a kazoo melody that they’re confident is ready to go mainstream. Fortunately for them, in Austin, you can’t throw a flip-flop without hitting a musician, music club or someone hawking playbills for an open-mike night. Austin is the self-styled Live Music Capital of the World. Austin has a built in enthusiastic crown of tens of thousands of students who will listen to anything. It’s all courtesy of Moms and Dads all across the fruited plain paying their children’s tuition at the nearby University of Texas.
Mom, Dad, your student’s motto is:
“We’re here as Long as there’s Beer.”
The Boys knew this would be their big chance.
There’s much more than a complacent collegiate population in Austin. The Boys have heard about the annual South by Southwest event. Recent years saw more than 28,000 music lovers in attendance at venues throughout the city. The Boys estimate that roughly half of them are women. Those numbers, aided and abetted by their musical talent, natural charm, magical panache and endearing swagger, mean they’re sure to attract an adoring paramour.
I’ve got my doubts.
The Boys pulled out all the stops to make a grand impression on the tens of thousands of beautiful Texas ladies. This was it. This was their time. This was going to be their day. On the way to the stage, they were collecting phone numbers. In fact, they got hundreds of numbers as they made the way to center stage. After tens of requests, some of which were to play something, they took a bow and left to sound of the cheering throngs.
On the way back to the Lotto Mobile, The Boys were ecstatic. They had hundreds of phone numbers provided by beautiful women who’d seen them for what they really were. Not stuffy lotto professionals, but professional musicians that knew how to let their hair down. Guys that knew how to party. Men that knew how to have fun. Tonight, the ladies of Austin knew they were both sparkling entertainers and deep thinkers that could do it all.
It was time to start the interviews.
As they turned their vehicle North towards Flower Mound, they began reviewing their numbers. It was strange. Most of the numbers were the same, i.e., BR 549. The Boys concluded that most of the ladies must live in the same boarding house. The Boys hoped that they didn’t have a ton of jealous women on their hands as they dated them, each in turn.
Steady ladies, The Boys will be there soon.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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