New Lotto Strategies
The Boys in the Lotto Lab are used to the mockery, jeering and ridiculing that comes with their chosen profession. The Boys maintain that you can tell who the pioneers are by who has the most arrows in their back. The Boys reflect upon their past winning efforts with a large amount of pride. They compound their pride as they revel in the reality that they’ve been mocked, derided, taunted and sneered at by some of the most beautiful women in Texas. If the ladies didn’t care, they wouldn’t have bothered.
Take That Brad Pit!!!
Anyway, the Boys are about to change their luck. Unbeknownst to many, they possess the Elite Theory of Professional Lotto Management. The key to executing the basics of this theory is the Boys possession of every Lotto Result from each and every Texas Lotto Drawing since the beginning of time.
Lotto Texas will soon be paying They Boys what they’re worth. COUNT ON IT!!!
The Boys have long suspected that their continuing losses could be attributed to the nefarious members of the “Global Lotto Cabal.” It’s the only thing that makes sense. The Boys personally calculated that they have a 50/50 chance of winning the Texas Lotto Jackpot for each and every drawing they participate in. They did the math themselves. Click Here. The facts are irrefutable. They’ve participated in over 600 Lotto Texas Drawings. These dastardly villains are directly responsible for their continued losses and have contributed to some of the most stressful life events ever experienced by the Boys.
This WILL NOT STAND!!!
The Boys anticipate that they will have won the Texas Lottery by the next Texas-OU Weekend. They intend to defeat the Cabal’s most evil and most foul intentions by using the Texas Method of selecting their winning numbers.
They thought of it themselves.
The easiest way for this to happen would be to reverse the order of presentation. As you may know, the way the lotto presently works is, The Boys will buy their tickets from their local Texas Lotto Retailer. They then wait for the Wednesday and Saturday drawings and compare their numbers to the numbers presented by the Texas Lotto Commission.
What if this sequence of events were reversed? What if, instead of waiting for the drawing results to see if they won the jackpot, instead, The Boys communicated the numbers they held to The Commission and these were then the numbers selected?
The plan is flawless. The Boys would win every time. There would be no more mockery. No more ridicule. No more Ramen Noodles. Chicks would REALLY dig it.
- The Boys have had the Texas Lotto Commission on speed dial for months. No response.
- They’ve prepared a position paper and sent it by Certified Mail to the head of The Commission. No response.
- The Boys have stood outside of Commission Headquarters wearing a sandwich board with the details of their proposal printed neatly thereon. No response.
The Cabal is influencing the Commission. There can be no other explanation.
This is not all The Boys in the Lotto Lab have been working on.
Each and every time They Boys make their Lotto Texas Ticket purchase, they INSIST on a money back guarantee for their tickets as they ALWAYS specify that they only want winning tickets. Thus far, each and every Texas Lotto Retailer has declined their demands.
If any Texas Attorney would like to take this case, The Boys are willing to speak with you. They demand significant experience in lotto law, retail law, a creative legal mind, that you possess a first class legal education from a reputable Texas university and MOST IMPORTANTLY that you’re willing to work on contingency.
You will be compensated generously after a Texas Court of competent jurisdiction rules that The Boys have the right to insist that the lotto ticket they buy BE ONLY the winning ticket.
For immediate consideration, please send your current Curricula Vitae to:
C/O The Lotto Lab
Flower Mound, Texas
If you’re a female attorney, there may be a “Unique Career Opportunity” for you. The Boys are currently searching for a Female CEO. Click Here
Inexplicably, the retail money back guarantees they’ve demanded has been declined in 100% of their purchases. Nevertheless, hope springs eternal. Each time The Boys notice that there’s a new counter clerk at their local Texas lotto retailer; they march in and make the same demand.
Soon… very soon… someone will grant their request.
The challenges grow more formidable every day. As The Boys like to say, it gets worse or worst, depending on whether you’re from East Texas or the Rio Grande Valley.
Anyway… The Boys fear their nemesis may have splintered and created a Cabal 2. While most lotto players would find this daunting, The Boys are up to the challenge. Try as they may, their antagonist will have no more success than the first anti-lotto assemblage. The Boys expect to meet or exceed their current success rate in spite of Cabal 2’s malevolent presence.
As you can plainly see, The Boys in the Lotto Lab are further refining their techniques, hiring competent legal assistance, employing a new Chief Executive and in constant communication with the Texas Lotto Commission where they are going to introduce their Professional Lotto Management Techniques to Texas and beyond.
The above is proof positive that The Boys will have the lotto jackpot millions not later than the next Texas-OU game. FINALLY… They Boys will watch the game from the stands instead of listening to it from the parking lot.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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