Female Lotto Lab CEO
The Boys in the Lotto Lab have been working diligently for months now searching for the perfect Female CEO. They’re adamant that their new Natural Renewable Energy Laboratory is staffed with the most astute executives available. The Boys intend to battle, “Global Cooling” … er… they mean…. “Global Warming” … whoops… they mean “Climate Disruption” with the full power of the Lotto. To complete this noble task, they need a fully qualified Chief Executive Officer.
Preferably.. a blonde one.
It’s not like they haven’t been trying. They’ve posted help wanted advertisements at every
- Yoga class
- Filling station
- Lunch Counter
- Tanning Salon
- Day Spa
- Community College Rec Room
- and United Nations Newsstand
For miles around.
You read that last one right. The Boys have enlisted the assistance of their buddy at the United Nations to find their new Female Executive. Their friend brags that he has the run of the ENTIRE BASEMENT of the United Nations in New York City between midnight and 8 am five days a week. The Boys are expecting a flood of international applicants for their Woman CEO position anytime now.
It’s an enigma. In spite of the salary, the perks, and the prestige associated with the position, no takers. It’s been weeks, still, no luck. The Boys have examined Female CEO Statistics for every organization known to man. While they concur that the salary they’re offering, i.e., $12,500/year may be on the low end, they KNOW the perks quickly make up the difference. They’ll be able to teach her so very much, AND she’ll be directly involved in saving the planet.
Given the above, The Boys suspect that the International Lotto Cabal is the root of their problem.
The Boys remain undaunted. They KNOW the planet is not going to save itself. It’s up to them to do everything they can to reduce emissions and recycle old lotto tickets in an earth friendly way. To achieve this, they intend to establish a Cultural Hegemony to complement their Cultural Institute. Soon, The Boys will be spreading their indisputably superior wisdom globally.
Sound ambitious? It is. The Boys intend to wrest control from the Cabal and “Rule the Lotto World” in 60 days or less.
To make that happen, they NEED a Female CEO.
Due to Cabal interference, their extensive Executive Search efforts have produced nothing. Well, not nothing. The Boys have had one candidate make it through the grueling interview process. She made it to the “Final Interview” which, in her case, was the “First Interview.” They told her the good news, but she’s not returning calls. They suspect “The Cabal” has abducted her.
Never fear, our intrepid heroes press forward.
They’re taking another approach. They’re going to use the power of the internet and online facial recognition technology to first identify and then communicate with the perfect candidate.
After performing an extensive background search, The Boys have determined that one of these ladies will be the Lotto Labs new Chief Executive Officer. They will install one of these as the Woman CEO of a Tech Company…and….not just any tech company… she will become THE CEO of the Lotto Lab.
These ladies possess the characteristics to become wildly successful as a CEO for The Boys. If you see any of them, please notify The Boys via US Postal Mail at:
c/o The Lotto Lab
Flower Mound, Texas
Thank you for your help. Together, we’ll stop Climate Disruption in its tracks.