The Lotto Lair
After a hard days work in the Lotto Lab, The Boys like to decompress in the Lotto Lair. Here you’ll find The Boys talking about the day’s events, recent research, and Lotto Lovelies they’re fixing (preparing) to make a move on. And, as always, how best to nurse the Lotto Mobile back to health. Most of the time the latter topic results in harsh words and pointless diatribes. You see, the Lotto Mobile currently holds the title as the “Slowest Car Ever Built.” Rumor has it that the only other Lotto Mobile in existence is garaged in Gunbarrel City, Texas. That owner depressed the accelerator last Tuesday and is still waiting for the car to move.
One of The Boys maintains that this is a feature, another argues that it’s a defect. As for the rest of the Lotto Central Lotto Team, we don’t care.
Back to the Lotto Lovelies. The Boys have long been frustrated that more than 8 gazillion beautiful women are living throughout The Lone Star State. Those gazillions include every Texas woman, and every one of them is a radiant beauty.
We’re not making this up.
Anyway, aside from their unrelenting Lotto Research, The Boys spend much of their spare time looking for love. In all the years that they’ve been approaching Texas women, they’ve never met a one that wasn’t more beautiful than the last.
Despite the fact that Texas lovelies are thick as flies, The Boys still having difficulty getting a date. They explain, ad infinitum how they’re qualified Lotto Professionals. They tell the ladies they’re destined for fame, fortune, and fun. They discuss their Lotto Lab research with authority and volume. They’ve even gone so far as to offer the right young lady the career of her dreams as The CEO of the Lotto Lair.
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Inexplicably, whenever they arrive with their Lotto Lovely at the food truck for dinner before a refreshing skinny dip in the lake, the lady always gets a text from someone saying she needs to be somewhere else, IMMEDIATELY.
The Boys REALLY liked the last dozen or so women they took to the food truck. Any one of them could have been the one.
Many times while relaxing in the Lotto Lair, The Boys will discuss politics. As their interests range the full gamut of the political thought, these discussions almost always end in tears and a blow to the head. When discussing politics, one thing The Boys can consistently agree on is the federal government costs To Damn Much Money. The Boys are convinced that providing them with anything, a pittance, a billion or so dollars will permit them to double, triple, maybe even quadruple the Treasuries money and pay off the national debt. They’re confident they could do it in less than 180 days by using their pull with a local Texas Lotto retailer. Then, using their research and the purchasing power of a paltry billion dollars, they could pay off the national debt by bringing the full majesty and power of the Texas Lottery to bear. The Boy’s confidence is off the charts that this plan will work. They’ve spoken to the lotto retailer in question. They’ve spent hours discussing the pros, the cons, the possibilities, the probabilities at great length. The Texas Lotto retailer is 100% confident their plan will work and says so repeatedly. All he needs is The Boys irrefutable research and the billion dollars.
The Boys have other thoughts about how we might eliminate the national debt. They include:
- Mugging Canada;
- Renting The Stealth Bomber for Proms;
- Substituting Congresspersons for Road Barriers;
- Starting a Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) Business;
- Searching for Tin Cans along the Side of the Road.
These are TREMENDOUS ideas in their own right, but we need to go with what we know works. None of these ideas possess the same rock-solid certainty of giving The Boys a billion federal dollars to play Lotto Texas. The Texas Lottery works. We need to go with what works. How about getting with the program Federal Government?!?! The Boys are waiting for the billion bucks.
You see, The Boys never stop thinking about you, the Lotto Central Team and what needs to be done to make America a better, more prosperous place.
Next Time… Fer Sure!!
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