The Lotto Lab

The Lotto Lab

 

The Boys in the Lotto LabThe Boys in the Lotto Lab spend all their waking hours searching for the Holy Grail.  They’re searching for vindication.  They’re working non-stop for your financial success.  They’re searching for the:

 

“Coherent Unified Lotto Theory”

Once they’ve broken the Unified Theory code, The Boys are convinced they’re poised to win jackpot after jackpot after jackpot after jackpot.  When they do, they’ll send shares of their millions to you,  their Loyal Lotto Central player.  They’ve been conducting critical Lotto Research since November of 1991.  It was then that the Texas Lotto held its first historic drawing.  That day, the Texas State Lottery Commission turned the lotto world on its ear.   Lottery Texas Tent

The Lotto Lab is where The Boys conduct their secretive research.  The results are astounding.  Their efforts lead to on point, mission critical papers and treatises.  Within the confines of this hallowed structure, you will find advanced analytical gear such as several 10 Key calculators, some of which still work.  You may be interested in learning that the best way to repair a broken 10 Key is not with a hammer.  Usually, just changing the batteries works.  Also, ten keys don’t care if you threaten to buy an abacus that never needs new batteries. 

Just saying.  

Their research does not end with simple addition and subtraction. 

The Boys are creating new Lotto Research paradigms.  In addition to the broken calculators, you’ll find two entirely separate tables.  One made of wood.  One made of metal.  The tables were purchased at different times from different second-hand shops.  The Boys analyzed dates, times of day, delivery times, and how many knocks permitted on the Lotto Lab door before they accepted delivery.  Nothing was left to chance.  This exercise was specifically designed to spread as much karma to the universe as humanly possible.  The Boys are convinced, what goes around comes around. 

This inviolate truth has led The Boys to hedge their Karma bets.  They’ve concluded that research, development and reporting on the maximum number secretive scientific fields will give Karma a Karma What Goes Around Comes Aroundbigger target.  The global Karma target they’re constructing should result in the acquisition of multiple consecutive multi-million dollar Lotto Texas Jackpots. 

The Boys are ready to get hit with a boat load of Karma. 

In their quest to discover the elusive Coherent Unified Lotto Theory, they’ve turned their attention to such promising jackpot producing fields as:

  • Numerology;
  • Blended Personal Horoscopes;
  • Phrenology;
  • Quantum Jumping;
  • Rumpology;
  • Ancient Aliens;
  • Modern Aliens;
  • Space Aliens;
  • Illegal Aliens;
  • Indigenous Peoples;
  • Spontaneous Human Combustion;
  • Ouija Boards;
  • Physiognomy;
  • Numerology;
  • Astrology;
  • Organology;
  • Iridology;
  • Zermatism;
  • Crystal Empowerment

Their efforts are relentless; their efforts are intense, their efforts are comprehensive.  Their efforts preclude them from spending time at a day job. 

Remember, everything they do, they do for you, the Lotto Central Team.

An issue that keeps The Boys awake at night is the lack of relevance and internal consistency in each of these advanced fields of study.  Some references never mention the lotto, others directly contradict one another. 

For example, you’ll look at one internet site expressing absolute certainty of the relevance and perspicacity of burgeoning field of Rumpology only to find another, equally impressive website claiming Crystal Empowerment is the key to unlimited Lotto Jackpots. Coherent Unified Lotto Theory

Both systems are relevant; both systems are rational, both systems represent a certain elegance and beauty.  The Boys are confident they, and they alone, are capable of blending these nineteen (19) disciplines into a Coherent Unified Lotto Theory

As you might suspect, it’s NEVER been done before. 

Hence the necessity for the Lotto Lab, the necessity for constant lotto research and the rejection of outmoded societal constructs that would have them mowing grass, driving a delivery truck, or delivering pizza.  A review of their resumes has convinced most employers that those are positions they might aspire to, on a good day.   

For you, the Lotto Central Team, this is good news.   As you’ve undoubtedly concluded, their work is far too important to be distracted by a day job.

The Boys remain confident that…

Next Time… Fer Sure!!

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